I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
