maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
