I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
