theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
