I just gift wrapped bread.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
