I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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