Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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