I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
