piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
