she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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