i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
