YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
