can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
