You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
