I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize