Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
