I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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