I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
