i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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