smell my finger.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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