Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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