he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
