She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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