I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
