My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
