while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A+ Viking dick
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
