We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
