He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We need to get me chipped asap
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
