8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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