Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
