If that was your dad, he is hot
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
