so explain again why im purple
no
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
