I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
