Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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