Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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