How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
