My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
