Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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