What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
