just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
