I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
