and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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