I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
