Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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