Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
