Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
