once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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