I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Randomize
