my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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