You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
