i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
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The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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