so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
