"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
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At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
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He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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