My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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