my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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