I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
