he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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