Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
