I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
