Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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