Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
