no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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