i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
